Celebrations Abroad

As I have mentioned before, if you want to quickly learn who you really are….move to a whole new culture on the other side of the World.  I actually still have no idea who I “really am” (or even what that really means), but I will say I have learned A LOT about myself.  One of the surprising things is my attachment to Holidays and celebrations.  Now having been here in South Africa for over 8 months, we have celebrated Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Valentine’s Day, Easter, Mother’s Day and all of our birthdays.  Though each event has been special, it has been “different”.  We spent Christmas in the swimming pool and my June birthday was FREEZING!!  We did our best to recreate some of our traditions with each different celebration and build lasting memories.  Though each occasion was wonderful, there was definitely something missing.

Two days ago, I turned 39.  I was very encouraged by my friends here in South Africa and my husband (as always) went out of his way to make me feel special.  My eldest daughter was very concerned that I was not having some sort of a party and was slightly vexed about the absence of a cake!  She was really wanting to make sure I felt special.  All of a sudden, she realised something even more bothersome to her…”It’s your birthday, shouldn’t you be spending it with your Mom?”  With that simple sentence, she tore my heart.  Partly because I felt so touched that she obviously felt it was a crime to spend your birthday without Mommy, but partly because….yes, I would love to spend it with my Mommy.  To be clear, I have spent many birthdays outside of the presence of my Mom, but things are a little more acute here.

BUT…this distance and absence had an unexpected and touching result.  I received an incredibly touching message from my Dad.  It made me tear up as he recounted some of our crazy adventures while growing up.  And Dad….I was 12 when I drove you home that night!!  I sent my Mom a message telling her what my daughter said, and got a equally tearful response.  Then my brother sent me the following “story”.  I was blown away.  I have always felt loved by my family, but something about the 15,000+ mile difference has brought a new level of love and vulnerability.  With that, I will let my brother’s words entertain and (hopefully) encourage you as well!

                                     

TRUE STORY

This story begins in a faraway place. A place that is barely inhabited due to its failing economy and lack of resources. A place that used to thrive due to the trafficking of……never mind. For now….its just a place. 
A place called…..
Smith Center.
In the year of 1976, a small wonder was brought into the world. Her name would forever be known as
Heather Bolton. Well, that is until she was married and her last name was changed to McKean. 
Her name would temporarily be known as 
HEATHER BOLTON.

She was the most BEAUTIFUL young girl the whole worl……….She was the most BEAUTIFUL young girl that Smith Center had ever seen.
She had big blue eyes and a full head of hair. She resembled a white, blue eyed Tina Turner.
With the voice of an angel, and the scream of a young Steven Tyler, she could both soften your heart and bust your eardrums.



For more than 2 years, Heather ruled her kingdom. Her beautiful 2 bedroom, warped floors, paint chipped, wall papered palace was the place of dreams.
She had many adventures and was always in the best of moods.

Well…..not always

She was blessed with the finest of garments and was always dressed to perfection.

And she was always put together so well when she would attend the royal dinners

And EVERY royal dinner was a meal filled with the best food from all around. And for Heather, she enjoyed EVERY meal to its fullest!!

She was always accompanied by her many pets. She had horses, pigs, rabbits, mice, snakes, horny toads, lizards, iguanas, hummingbirds, cows, alligators, jelly fish, scorpion, cats, bald eagles, regular eagles, a Pegasus, a unicorn, care bears, my pretty ponies, wolverines, badgers, and even…….dogs. 

But then one day or evening, I think evening. I’m not really sure actually. It was either in the day or in the night…..that I’m sure of. But it was definitely cold. I think it was cold. I can’t be too sure now that I think about it. I mean, it WAS in November so I can only assume it was cold. However, there are warm days in in November. The nights are usually cold though. Ok….so we’ll just say night. 

One cold dark night, something……well now that I think about it, “cold dark night” doesn’t sound like its going to be a good thing. And really, the story takes a very positive turn from here on out. So for sake of this story we’re just gonna say that it was a warm night in November. 

But then one very unusually nice day in November, there was a change in the palace. There was a new noise that Heather hadn’t heard before. It sounded as if there were another baby in the house. And so it would be…..there was. That seemed a bit anticlimactic. “THERE WAS”. Blah.
And so…….Heather snuck out of her crib and went to investigate. She opened the door to see…. A FIFTY FOOT DINOSAUR THAT WAS EATING THE TV…BUT SHE WAS OK WITH IT BECAUSE IT WAS A CRAPPY BLACK AND WHITE TV THAT ONLY GOT 2 STATIONS…..NEITHER OF WHICH WAS CARTOOOOOOONS.
Oh and, there was a baby laying nearby and his name was Ryan…err…..James. James Bol…James Ryan Bolton but he went by Ryan…..but his name was James. But really it was Ryan. SHE knew him as Ryan….well and James because it was, after all, her brother. But his parents decided to confuse the crap out of him and give him 2 names that he could be referred to. Which made things REALLY stressful on him growing up. Never sure what his true identity was……..I’ll save that story for another time. 
ANYWAY….where was I? OH RIGHT…..the new baby brother. 
Heather was SOOOOOO excited that she would no longer have to play in the palace by herself, and would have someone to share in her many adventures.

Ryan was FAR more beautiful than she. He was, for lack of a better word, perfect. Which is probably why she tried to kill him with an M&M. 

He too was blessed with all the wonderful things that Heather was and enjoyed his life to the fullest!!

He would get the finest of foods. Or the finest of what was left over after Heather had eaten. Don’t eat the glass, dumb dumb. 

The two became the best of all friends. Better than any other friendship. Even yours (whoever is reading this other than Heather or myself). Like….take your best friendship and multiply it times 20, then take that number…double it, then count to 1,000 and you’re still not even close. 

They shared in MANY adventures. From feeding their very exotic animals

and playing games with their food……

We totally ate those guys. They should have named them Bacon and Pork chops…..because that’s what they ended up being. 

To being chauffeured around their royal weed pasture 

Crazy small legs and a big head. 

However…..a near tragedy would soon change their lives forever. I guess it didn’t really change their lives. It was a near tragedy….but I don’t think there was any post traumatic issues. 
Anyway, the 2 were swimming in the biggest lake (pond) in all the land (KS), when Ryan was kicked into the water by some unknown force. A dark and magical force known as…….GRAVITY.
Ryan was dragged beneath the surface in the raging rapids below

He was down under the water for what was probably 20 minutes. Heather JUMPED in and grabbed him by the hair, pulling him to safety. He’s never forgotten that since. And he realizes just how important that moment in life really was. She, unquestionably, saved his life that day. And he can never do enough to repay her. She is and always will be…….his true hero. 

The aftermath was unbelievable. They had both escaped a near tragedy…..

Many years had passed, but the 2 remained remarkably close. Whether it was due to lack of a ride, living in the country, or just the inability to go anywhere….the 2 rarely left each other’s side.
She always presented him with GREAT ideas and they would act out many theatrical classics under her direction……

Oh dear God……
Many magical times came during those years. Most either too embarrassing to discuss, or ones that have been permanently blocked as a coping mechanism.

The 2 siblings didn’t always stay as beautiful as they had started out. There were many……..”Awkward” moments in their lives…..

YIKES



As the 2 grew older, their interests started to change. Their youth was behind them, and the teen years were to come. But no matter how bad they bickered, or yelled, or sprayed 409 in each others face, or held one another down and farted in their mouth……
Their sibling bond never weakened.
Times were changing. They had been through A LOT in their lives. Things that made them the people they are today. Things that made them stronger as individuals. Things that allowed them to persevere and to move forward when they felt there was little hope. Things that allow them to be better parents, better spouses, and better people. They’ve learned a lot from each other, and have had INCREDIBLE journeys together. And will have a bond that can never be broken…..

And no matter how many miles separate them, or how many days go by that they don’t see each other, or talk to each other…….they’ll always be
Brother and Sister

So for now, their journey continues. Though not side by side, they’re as close as ever. Now they share their lives, their experiences, and their love with their own…………hand in hand

To:
My Friend
My Hero
MY SISTER